


See You Through My Eyes

by CassandraAdern



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Wings, Angels, Angst, Annoyed Sam Winchester, Bickering, Case Fic, Castiel's Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Closeted Dean Winchester, Emotionally Repressed Dean Winchester, Fluff, Glasses, Hellhounds, Hotels, Hunters & Hunting, Loss of Angelic Grace (Supernatural), M/M, Mutual Pining, Sam Winchester is So Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22603804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassandraAdern/pseuds/CassandraAdern
Summary: Dean, Sam and Cas are hunting a rogue hellhound. Let’s just say when you burn glasses with holy oil, hell bitches aren’t the only thing you can see.Ft. Rowena as Queen of Hell
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Comments: 27
Kudos: 96





	1. Back to Business

**Author's Note:**

> This is Canon-divergent starting after 15X11 The Gamblers.  
> Spoilers for Season 15.  
> Depictions of anxiety, ptsd, panic attacks etc. So if that's triggering please don't read :)

It was a boring Tuesday afternoon. Dean was making Cas watch another cowboy movie while Jack was researching any way to strengthen his powers for an upcoming fight with God. Sam was searching the web for any signs of a case.

It had been almost two weeks since they’d got Jack back. They had their renewed luck courtesy of Fortuna, and they had the most powerful nephilim to ever walk the earth back as their secret weapon. They hadn’t had any kind of sign of Chuck’s whereabouts or his plan in weeks. But they were ready if he did decide to strike.

Sam was busying himself looking at the news for any sign of a case. There was no point staying cooped up in the bunker waiting for Chuck to make a move. Sam was already on his last straw listening to Cas and Dean bicker about Brisco County Jr. and whether his horse was named Comet or Cupid.

“I swear to you Cas. It’s Comet. Dean said incessantly. “I’ve been watching this show for years.”

“Dean, I remember clearly. The horse’s name was Cupid. I remember that name resonated with me as one of my own kind and helped me bond with the character.”

“Bond. With a fictional horse.” Dean raised his eyebrows.

“Yes Dean, how is that any different from feeling an emotional attachment to a human character?”

“Uh, cause we’re humans and humans bond with humans not horses.”

“I’m an angel. Comparing humans to horses is like comparing mice to shrews.”

Dean scoffs offended. “It’s not anything even relatively on the same page. Humans can talk. Horses can’t.”

“Just because they don’t speak in human tongues doesn't mean they don’t talk.” Cas glowered.

Dean continued on as if Cas had never spoken. “Anyway shrews are clearly better. Cute little guys. Burrowing in holes.”

“Mice have holes too.” Cas stated.

Sam was glad that they were talking again, but he was seriously about to flip his shit on both of them. When, just in time, Sam finally caught wind of a case.

Three dead in southern Illinois. Bodies ripped apart. Animal attack. Sam flicked through the images, now successfully tuning out the bickering duo. He’d know those wounds anywhere. He’d watched almost 12 years ago as those same wounds were torn into his brother’s chest by a seemingly invisible force. Hellhounds.

“Guys.” Sam called. They paid him no mind, continuing their argument. “GUYS.” Sam’s worried face turned to them. It must’ve been something in his eyes that made them stop.

“What is it?” Dean asked as the two raced up the steps to meet him.

“Is it Chuck?” Cas asked. Worry plain on his face.

“No, no nothing like that.” The two visibly relaxed.

“What then?”

“I did find a case.” Sam glanced nervously at Dean. “Hellhounds.” Dean swallowed hard and went a little pale. As much as he chose to deny it, Sam knew his brother well enough to know how scared of hellhounds he truly was. Cas seemed to know the same, as he was staring at Dean out of the corner of his eyes gauging his reaction.

“Alright then,” Dean cleared his throat. “Let’s suit up.” He turned away and headed towards his room. Sam glanced at Cas then stood quickly and followed his older brother down the hall.

“Are you sure Dean? Cas and I can handle this one.”

“Ha, you think I’m gonna let either of you face that thing alone?”

“We wouldn’t be alone. We can cover each other.”

“No, Sammy.” Sam sighed.

“Listen, I know you hate talking about your feelings.” He could almost hear Dean’s eye roll as he turned the corner. “But, I know how much hellhounds still affect you.”

“Affect me, they don’t affect me.” Dean said a little too fast to be at all convincing. “Why would they?”

“Let’s see, maybe cause one killed you.” Dean shot back a glare at Sam. They’d reached Dean’s room.

“Lots of things have killed me.” Sam was the one to roll his eyes this time. Dean was resolutely packing his duffel.

“Hellhounds are different Dean you know they are. And I just don’t see a reason in you coming when Cas and I-”

“Drop it Sammy.” Dean all but shouted. He turned to Sam glaring. “If you think I’m gonna let you put yourselves in harm's way to spare my ‘feelings’ you must be thinking of the wrong brother.” He threw his last gun into his bag with more force than necessary. “Anyway they don’t scare me. So are you gonna pack or what?” Sam sighed and turned away.

They headed out minutes later. Jack stayed behind, cause he couldn’t use his powers or risk being seen.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured them.

They left reluctantly, but this had to be dealt with. Hellhounds were ruthless. And leaving Jack behind was the safest option they had.

They piled into the impala, Sam shotgun and Cas in the back, as per usual. Unusual however, was the silence. Dean didn’t pop in one of his cassettes or brief with Sam on the case. Instead he sat white knuckled staring straight ahead. Sam and Cas exchanged a look which Dean caught in the rearview mirror.

“I can see you guys I hope you know that.” Sam sighed.

“We’re just-”

“If you say worried, I swear you can walk to Illonois.” Dean snapped.

“Fine,” Sam huffed “Can you at least let me drive? You’re gonna lose a finger with that lack of circulation.” Dean glared at his brother but relented.

_____________________________________________

Dean pulled over on the shoulder of the road to switch with Sam. He was fine driving, but if it would shut Sam up he’d take it. He settled in to the passenger side, refusing to look at Sam or Cas. He could feel Cas’ concerned eyes boring into the back of his head. He was determined to ignore it.

Instead he focused on blocking out the unwanted memories filling his head. Hellhounds, the barking, the claws, Jo, Ellen. He felt the sharp claws ripping into his chest, the teeth piercing his leg. Dean swallowed hard trying to ignore the tingling sensation spreading through his arms.

 _Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. You’re fine. You can take on a Hellhound. You know more now. You’re fine. So what if now you don’t have God’s help and it’s all on you. And your little brother is gonna be face to face with this monster. And Cas. Cas who you just got back. You have to stay strong for them. Gotta protect Cas now that he’s losing his powers. Gotta keep Sammy safe._ Dean could feel his body growing more numb. He knew this was just panic. He was suddenly happy Sam was driving cause he had no feeling in his hands. He tried to will himself to think of something else, anything else. _They sent you to Hell_. Okay, not that.

Dean felt a warmth wrap its way around him. He instantly felt better. He often felt this sensation. It helped calm him down when he was anxious, although it wasn’t always there. It relaxed every muscle in his body, cleared his head.

He was quite familiar with this amiable heat prickling his skin, working its way through his mind and sorting out bad thoughts. Whenever he had a particularly bad nightmare this warmth eased his mind and mitigated panic. He couldn't explain the feeling. He assumed it was just his body releasing serotonin or dopamine or some shit to keep him from having an aneurysm.

It’d been present even since hell. He supposed it was a kind of coping strategy. He sometimes wondered if there was something fucked up in his brain, cause Dean never felt it in his almost 30 years before Hell. He hardly cared though, it soothed him. He relaxed into the leather seat beneath him, taking in the smell of baby.

Dean could feel the sensation creeping slowly back into his fingers, the numbness evaporating as if it’d never been there to begin with. He stretched his fingers thankful to have use of them again.

They spent the next couple dozen miles in silence. Sam obviously didn’t want to say anything to upset Dean, and Cas rarely spoke during car rides. Dean quite enjoyed the silence. It gave him time to think, or not think. He relaxed feeling almost entranced. Safe and happy, despite the knowledge of what he’d have to face in just a few hours time.


	2. To Shoulder Your Pain Would Be An Honor

Castiel always did his best to soothe Dean’s distress. Be it physical intervention, conversations with the Winchester to ease his mind, or watching over him in his sleep. Whatever the type of aid, Castiel was there. Over the years he found that Dean was very needy, even by human standards. He was in constant conflict, be it with an external force or simply himself. Today was no different. 

Castiel could feel the anxiety rippling off of him, hear Dean’s thoughts as they clamored in the hunter’s mind. Cas didn’t mean to listen in. He tried not to see inside human’s thoughts. Dean had taught him early on in their relationship that it was an invasion of privacy. But sometimes he couldn’t help it. It was second nature to him. Especially when Dean’s thoughts were so loud and harsh. Especially when they were so closely bonded.

Castiel closed his eyes and focused. The angel reached out one of his large black wings and wrapped it around the hunter. He felt Dean shudder in response. Cas did his best to ease Dean’s mind. He channelled energy through his body all the way to his wing tips. His feathers gently grazed Dean’s temple willing away the negative thoughts. 

The panic surged through his body and into Castiel's mind, but he squashed it before it could take hold. Being an angel had its advantages, especially when it came to combating unwanted emotions.

He watched as Dean’s eyes fluttered shut and smiled in satisfaction. Even with his powers fading Castiel could be of use. 

He remained like this until Dean fell asleep. It was rather uncomfortable to extend his wing in this way within the confines of the Impala. But for Dean he would endure. 

Not long after Dean had fallen asleep Castiel retrieved his wing from its place covering Dean. He saw the hunter shiver at the loss. 

“He went out quick.” Sam remarked. 

“Probably for the best.” Castiel stated. His gaze was still fixated on the older of the Winchesters. 

Dean shifted ever so slightly in his sleep and his left hand twitched. Castiel recognized this as a sign of discomfort. 

Without thinking he slid off his trench coat and lightly slung it over Dean. The hunter murmured something and held the coat close. 

Sam smiled fondly and let out a “huh,” Cas glanced at him.

“What?” He tilted his head in an inquiring matter. 

“Nothing,” Sam said quickly. “Just- You’re good to him.” He smiled, more to himself than to Castiel. 

“Of course,” Castiel said resolutely. “I would do anything for Dean.” He returned his gaze to the window.

After a moment’s pause Sam sighed. “What are we gonna do with him?” Cas recognized it as a rhetorical question rather than one Sam actually wanted him to answer.

“I don’t know.” He said anyway.

“Why does he have be so stubborn, such a-”

“Martyr.” Castiel finished for him. The pair exchange a look and Sam gives him a weak smile.

“Yeah, I just wish we could take care of him for once ya’know?”

Castiel nodded. He opened his mouth to respond but just then Dean stirred. “Perhaps we should have this conversation elsewhere.” He suggested. Sam nodded in agreement. 

“I’ll take the next exit.”

______________________________________________

Dean blinked his eyes open and realized that it was night. He must’ve dozed off. He sat up straighter and found Cas’ trench coat draped over him. They were at a gas station. Sam and Cas were both outside talking to each other in hushed whispers.

“Cas, we don’t have a choice.”

“But you know what hellhounds do to Dean. He doesn’t think properly around them. I’m worried about how it will impair his judgement.” Dean lowered his head quickly pretending to be asleep.

“I get it Cas, but we’re halfway to Illonois, and it’s hardly like we could stop him if we wanted. He knows where the case is.”

“Well, you were supposed to talk him out of coming.” Cas grumbled.

“It’s Dean. By all means, you try.” Sam’s voice sounded exasperated. 

“Dean and I are just barely on speaking terms again and-”

“Okay Cas, I get it, but it’s done now.” 

“Not necessarily.” Cas hesitated. He looked up at Sam cautiously.

“What do you mean?”

“You could drive Dean away. I go in alone and clear things up before Dean has the chance to find me.” Dean felt a pain in his stomach that he couldn’t quite place.

“Cas, you can’t-” Sam started. But Dean had enough. He stepped out of the impala and slammed the door loudly. The two stared at him, clearly wondering what he’d heard. 

“Hey guys,” Dean plastered on a fake smile. “Are you gonna stop arguing so we can get a move on?” They exchanged a glance before Cas grumbled something and slid back into the backseat of the Impala. 

Sam returned the gas pump to its post and chanced a glance at Dean. Dean ignored the apologetic look in his younger brother’s eyes. He didn’t have time for this. They acted like he was some kid. He could keep his emotions in check.

“I’ll drive.” He grabbed the keys from his little brother and pushed him out of the way. Sam silently made him way to the other side of the impala.

When they were all back in the car Dean turned to them.

“Let’s get one thing straight. I’m fine. If you guys think you’re facing this thing without me, you’re wrong. So I don't wanna hear anymore talk about it. We clear?” He glanced between them expectantly.

“Understood.” Cas said flatly, still staring out the window. 

“Yeah, Dean. Got it.” Sam offered. He slid in a cassette to defuse the awkwardness. Dean settled back into his seat. He was partly angry with the other two for trying to conspire against him, partly wishing they could all just drive away and let someone else deal with the mutt. But who else was there? 

He threw the trenchcoat into the backseat with Cas “Here’s your coat.” He mumbled. Cas didn’t bother looking up and Dean knew he was biting his tongue to avoid an argument. 

Dean sighed and shifted Baby into gear, choosing to focus on the music and not the concerned looks Sam and Cas were exchanging. Dean hated when they teamed up on him.


	3. Heart and Mind at Peace in His Arms

They drove until 2 am. When they finally reached Illinois they pulled into a musty lookly motel. The lobby smelled rank, the walls seeping an odor Dean could only relate to that of wet dogs. They booked a room. Cas insisted that he didn’t need sleep, despite his dissipating powers.

“Are you sure Cas? We can rent another room.” Sam offered.

“I’m sure.” He seemed unwilling to accept the fact that his angelic powers were dwindling. “Besides, it's not like you two have money for a second room.” He reasoned. It was true. Since Chuck had cut off their luck, none of their fake cards had been working. They’d had to resort to hustling pool again.

Dean took the bed closer to the door as per usual and Sam took the one nearer the window.

Cas paced the room as the brothers got ready for bed. 

“Wake us in 4 hours?” Dean requested. Cas nodded. 

“Of course.”

“And stop pacing, read a book or something.” Dean grumbled as he slid into bed, eyes laden with sleep. Cas sighed and settled into an armchair. He didn’t have a book so he resorted to studying the wall opposite him. 

After about an hour had passed Castiel felt his mind slipping into boredom. His train of thought kept going back to Dean and how he wished he could handle this case for the hunter. As much as he tried to think of something else he couldn’t. It didn’t help that the Winchesters’ snoring breaths were the only sound to fill the silence. 

It must’ve been around 3am when Dean’s breathing shifted. Cas was very sensitive to Dean’s regular breathing patterns, this one indicated a nightmare. The soft snores had turned into rapid breathing.

Castiel rose and neared the hunter. He leaned over him, examining his current state. Dean’s heart rate had sped up, his eyes flicked violently from side to side, his hands tightened into fists around his sheets and tears beaded in his crinkled eyes.

Cas tilted his head sympathetically. He gently sat on Dean's bed beside the hunter and without hesitation, pressed his finger’s to Dean’s temples. He knew Dean would complain that he was using grace for a ‘trivial’ cause, but Dean’s peace of mind was worth it.

The twitching stopped almost immediately with Cas’ contact. Cas eased Deans mind, willing a new dream into existence. 

Cas remembered a story Dean had told him with great fondness. He focused on that memory, finding it within Dean’s mind.

The memory was so innocent in form. Sam and Dean were young, maybe 8 and 4. John was on a hunt, which of course, meant Dean was left to look after Sammy. Dean had already made them dinner, let Sammy watch cartoons while he did his homework and tucked his younger brother in for bed. Sam couldn’t sleep, so Dean read him a story. 

It was a Disney princess story. To this day Dean would deny that to Sam. But Cas knew both brothers loved the story. It was the story of a girl named Rapunzel; She waited in a tower, kidnapped by her evil stepmother as she waited for a prince to come save her. Eventually one did. They embarked on a great journey together until she found out it was her birth right that she was a princess. Her savior reigned alongside her and she lived the life she’d always dreamed.

Both brothers revered a life like this. Be it saving a damsel and becoming a hero or being saved from this life of cruelty, Cas didn’t know. He could only sense the longing. 

Of course Castiel knew the real story and it wasn’t anywhere near as glorious as this fairytale made it sound. He would never tell Dean though. He didn’t want to alter this precious memory.

Dean sighed and Cas knew he had succeeded. He slowly drew his hands away, allowing Dean to relish in his newfound dream. A small smile crossed his lips. 

Cas stayed with Dean for the rest of the night. One wing lay across Dean's chest blanketing him with reassurance. He softly sang ‘Hey Jude’ as Mary used to do, and lightly ran a hand through Dean’s hair. He hadn’t seen the hunter so relaxed in years.

Cas was so entranced with Dean he didn’t notice when Sam’s breathing shifted. He didn’t see the younger Winchester sit up and stare at the angel as he cared for Dean. He didn’t hear Sam’s ‘huh’ or see the smile that crept up his lips. Cas only saw Dean. Pale freckled skin, drool pooling from his parted lips, hair standing at every angle, product of Cas’ hand.

He let the brothers sleep till light began breaching the curtains. It filtered through cracks and fell across the Winchesters in a majestic manner. 

Castiel smiled to himself. He was content at this moment. Watching the brothers he’d committed his life to resting in such tranquility. But it was time to wake them. They had a case to solve.


	4. Oh, But How To Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning; see notes at the end of the chapter for details

Sam had a hard time keeping his mouth shut. He was so used to teasing Dean, but he knew his older brother was sensitive, especially with certain topics. Well one topic in particular; _feelings_.

No matter what the situation Dean always found some way to avoid talking about how he felt. He was so emotionally constipated that Sam felt the second hand hurt.

Sam knew that there was something going on between Cas and his brother. He’d suspected it from their second meeting, known it ever since Cas had been pulled out of his vessel, back to heaven, leaving Jimmy Novak behind for the brothers to deal with. That was roughly 11 years ago. Still neither of them acknowledged whatever it was they had going on between them.

Sam was fed up to say the least.

Cas was almost as equally emotionally restrained. He had an excuse though, thousands of years spent without allowance of emotions. Sam just wished one of them would get their head out of their ass and own up to their feelings. Put him out of his misery.

But if he was being honest with himself, that would probably never happen. Well, except maybe as a deathbed confession.

They got ready quickly. Cas acted as if the previous night had never happened. He was quite good at it. If Sam hadn't woken up to him singing and, for lack of a better word, petting Dean, he wouldn’t have known anything had happened. It made Sam wonder just how often Cas comforted Dean in his sleep.

Sam briefed them on the way to the police station. The attacks had occurred on the border of Glen Woods, a forest, and they occured at dusk. The victims were random, which to the police was further evidence that it was an animal attack. They were hikers, campers, sightseers. Anyone the hound could get its paws on.

Sam tried to find a connection that the police might have missed. Hellhounds weren’t exactly allowed to roam free. It was possible that a demon was behind the killings, but why?

“We could try Rowena. She might know something we don’t.” Sam suggested.

“Yeah, she might be behind it. Calling her would only be giving her warning to turn tail and run.” Dean huffed.

“Dean,” Sam started.

“What? In case you don’t remember Rowena wasn’t exactly the kindest person. She was a witch. That killed people. Oh, and now she’s the queen of hell. You don’t exactly get that job by being an outstanding citizen.”

“Yeah, well everything she did, she did out of fear.” Sam felt a need to defend her, he kinda understood where she was coming from. “She was just trying to stay alive.” Dean scoffed. “Besides, if you don’t remember she died to save us. To save the world. Pretty heroic in the end if you ask me.” Sam justified. Dean rolled his eyes, but remained silent.

“I have to agree with Sam.” Cas spoke up from the back seat.

“Of course you do. You always take his side” Dean glowered.

“This isn’t about ‘sides’. But Sam has a point; Rowena may have information about the hound. We could use her help. And if she is behind this, we can kill her.” He stated matter of factly. Sam sometimes forgot how much of a soldier Cas was. It was unsettling to hear him talk about using, maybe even killing their friend in such a casual manner. Dean seemed to think the same because he went quiet and stared out the window.

When they got to the police station Dean reached across Sam into the glove compartment. He pulled out a box of fake IDs and grabbed a relatively new looking one from the pile.

“Here you go Cas.” He threw the ID into the backseat. Cas caught it easily and flipped it open to read the name.

“Agent Zevon.” He read aloud. His brow furrowed.

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged. “You look like a Zevon. Name’s weird, it suits you.” He teased. Cas glared, but Sam saw the affection behind his look. He rolled his eyes, this pining was sickening. He cleared his throat annoyed. This would go on forever if he let it.

“Right then, lets go.” They piled out of the car and walked up to the police station. Sam led, Cas and Dean fell into step side by side.

“Okay Cas. So hold it this way.” Sam chanced a look back to see Dean fitting the badge into Cas’ hand, right side up.

“I know, Dean.” Cas retorted.

“Well, you alway do it wrong. This side goes up. Here, just hold it exactly like this, don’t move it at all.” Dean ordered. Sam held back a laugh. Cas was so clueless and Dean was so bossy. Hunting with them was like babysitting two toddlers.

When they entered the station they were met with the deputy.

“Officer,” Dean tilted his head at the man. “Agents Page and Bohnam, and this is our associate, Agent Zevon.” He gestured to Cas. Sam and Dean flashed their badges in unison and pocketed them. Cas was a little slow on the draw, but his badge was right side up, so Sam counted that as improvement. Dean looked like he might burst with laughter, while simultaneously swelling with pride.

“Three of you? Wow, the FBI really got all hands on deck.” The deputy eyed them suspiciously.

“Yes,” Dean responded cooly “The bureau has this case in high priority. The more hands, the faster we can get to the bottom of this.” Dean grinned coyly.

“Get to the bottom. Of animal attacks.” The cop narrowed his eyes.

“Uh, yeah.” Dean straightened awkwardly.

“We have reason to believe there may be some kind of chemical influence, causing animals to mutate and act in this way.” Sam covered quickly. “The sooner we can clear up this situation the better. We don’t want the effects spreading.”

“What kind of chemical influence?”

“We’re not authorized to divulge such information.” Cas said sternly. Sam had to admire his growth. He was getting better at this.

“Huh, figures. Still, sounds like a job for the CDC to me.” He waved them forwards. “C’mon, I’ll take you to see the stiffs.” He led them to the morgue. “Help yourself.” He unlocked the doors then turned and left them to examine the bodies with the coroner.

The injuries were exactly as Sam had thought. Further examination only confirmed his initial inkling.

“These wounds are congruent with a hound.” Cas clarified.

“A hound?” The coroner said in disbelief. “No dog did this.”

“Mutation, chemical spill.” Was all Cas offered. “We’ve seen cases like this before.”

“What, you don’t think it’s gonna be some kind of epidemic?” She asked uneasily.

“Don’t worry.” Cas turned to the woman, looking in her eyes. “We won’t let that happen.” She smiled at him, relaxing into his gaze. Dean coughed violently, drawing Cas’ eyes away from the girl. Sam sighed. His brother was so transparent.

“Can you give us a moment?” Sam asked the woman. She nodded and handed Sam the chart. She shot Cas one last smile as she left the room, which he returned.

Dean turned to Cas dramatically. “What are you doing?” He said in an accusatory tone.

“My job.” Cas stated simply.

“Since when is your job flirting with random girls?” Dean glowered.

Cas shrugged. “You do it all the time. I figured it was part of the role description.” Dean opened his mouth to respond but Cas cut him off. ”Besides, I didn’t want her to panic. That’s the last thing we need.”

“Cas is right.” Sam interjected before Dean could argue more.

“You two always side with each other.” Dean pouted. He huffed and turned back to the corpse.

It was a woman with her neck torn open by huge jaws, the markings indicated the teeth were at least two inches long. Dean swallowed hard beside Sam, but didn’t speak.

They moved on to other victims to ensure the same thing killed them all. The second body was a man. When Dean pulled back the sheet it revealed the disheveled body of a man whose chest had been torn out by razor sharp claws. Sam was stricken with the memory of seeing his brother’s body splayed out on the floor, with nearly the exact same injuries. Dean’s face paled. Sam saw him grip the side of the table to steady himself.

“Dean?” But his brother was already turning away from the body and making his way through the doors.

“Dean,” Cas called, but he didn’t turn back. “I’ll go after him.” Cas followed Dean without another glance at Sam. Sam sighed. Those two went from bickering to consulting each other in a matter of seconds.

He felt a little sick himself. Hellhounds were no laughing matter. Sam would be lying if he said that they were just any other monster. He’d watched them kill his brother. That’s not something you forget.

_____________________________________________________________

Dean burst out of the doors to the precinct. His mind was racing. Those were the same wounds he’d felt carved into his body twelve years ago. Twelve years, so why did it still affect him? Dean kicked himself internally for being such a coward. What would Dad say?

He ran his hands through his hair and pressed his back against the brick wall behind him. He took in sharp, rapid breaths of the cold air. His legs felt weak and he allowed them to give way, sliding down against the wall until he was sitting.

He had to pull himself together. This behavior wasn’t acceptable. _Get off your sorry ass boy. Pathetic, you can’t even handle one little hound. I raised you better than this Dean. Stop embarrassing me._ His father’s voice rang in his ears as he imagined what he would say if he saw Dean like this.

Suddenly Cas was coming through the door. “Dean are you okay.” He crouched in front of Dean. Dean ran a hand down his face, willing the tears not to fall.

“Yeah, I just wanna kill this thing and be done with it.” He said as tough as he could. His head dropped between his knees. Cas settled down next to him.

“I know.” He paused, studying Dean. “You’re not weak Dean. You’re allowed to have emotions. It’s perfectly natural to be scared-”

“I’m not scared.” Dean grumbled. He could tell Cas wasn’t convinced, but was glad that he didn’t rebuttal. Instead he sat with Dean, letting him soak in the fresh air and keeping him company.

His presence helped, it made Dean feel less alone. The warm sensation was back, calming Dean, helping him recover. He shuddered. After a few moments he straightened. “I’m good. Let’s get back in there.” Cas nodded and followed Dean back inside without a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - dead bodies/depictions of wounds, mentions of Dean's death in season 3  
> If these things are sensitive topics please don't read. Basic chapter plot is below.
> 
> Essentially what happens in this chapter is they go to the morgue and check out the victims' bodies. Dean freaks out a little. Ft. Dean and Cas bickering like an old married couple.


	5. Don't Sit on Sentiments

It was a quiet drive back to the hotel. Both Cas and Sam knew Dean well enough to not pressure him about the situation. When they finally got back to their room Dean headed straight for the shower muttering something about needing to clear his head.

As soon as the the door had closed behind Dean and the sound of the shower filled the silence Cas let out a breath. He instead turned his attention to the younger Winchester. “Sam are you okay?” He met Sam’s confused gaze. “I know you have a history with hellhounds too, and I wanted to let you know I'm here. If you… wanted to talk.” He eyed Sam cautiously, not sure how to address him relative to how he dealt with Dean. He knew Sam was generally more open with his emotions, but certain topics caused him to shut down, this may be one of them.

Sam smiled at Cas. “Yeah Cas, I’m good. But thanks.” He seemed to genuinely mean it so Cas didn’t press him. Instead they fell back into silence. Cas took to gathering up Dean’s pajamas from the night before which were strewn everywhere while Sam decided to go get food.

Cas stayed behind. He didn’t want Dean to come out of the shower to both of them being gone.

“Good luck with that. He’ll probably still be in the shower by the time I get back.” Sam scoffed.

Cas waited anyway. He occupied his time organizing the room. He moved Dean’s shoes to the door, made the beds, picked up the empty beef jerky bag Dean had left on his nightstand, and then he waited. He sat on Dean’s bed as he waited for the hunter to finish his shower.

Dean’s voice echoed from the bathroom into the room as he sang along to his favorite songs. Castiel recognized ‘Ramble On’ Dean had played it for him many times, as well as including it on the mixtape he’d given to Cas. It was one of his favorite of Dean’s music. He enjoyed all of the songs Dean played for him, music of any kind was fascinating, but he generally prefered other genres that Dean hardly listened to.

Ramble on was an exception though, the way Dean’s eyes lit up when he heard it was enough to spark joy in Castiel.

He enjoyed hearing Dean sing in the shower. On car rides or around others he would often sing differently than when he was alone. He seemed to almost purposefully miss notes or sing in the wrong pitch.

Castiel assumed it had to do with his destructive fear of not being perfect. Dean would rather act like he was a terrible singer than to show his real talent and risk judgement. It was one of the many self-protective measures Dean used to ensure no one got too close.

Every once in a while though Dean would let his guard down. When he was alone with Cas, after hours together, he’d be himself.

He’d sing to his full capability, risk being vulnerable. He’d sing slower songs that had more pain and soul. He’d let Cas listen and see the real Dean. Cas loved these days.

As he listened to Dean’s singing he flipped through one of the hotel bibles. He used to quite enjoy reading about his father’s creation and the trials humanity underwent in the early years. But things were different now.

Knowing what he now knows about Chuck changed the meaning behind the stories. They were less of lessons, and more twisted tests of faith designed purely for Chuck’s entertainment.

Castiel read for what must’ve been 20 minutes before Dean finally finished his shower.

He stepped out of the bathroom, a cloud of steam billowing behind him. He was dressed in his normal jeans and a tee shirt. Cas’ lips curved into a smile at the sight of him.

“Hey Cas.” He glanced around the room. “Where’s Sam?”

“He went to get food.”

“Oh, you didn’t go with?” He asked as he ruffled his hair dry with his towel.

“I didn’t want you to be alone.” Cas returned the bible to its place on the nightstand.

“What’s with the bible study?” Dean furrowed his brow.

“I was just looking back at my father’s work. You know when I was an angel, a proper angel, I used to believe everything he did. I had faith that all the pain he caused was for the greater good, that there was reason behind his cruelty. I see now that I was just naive. It wasn’t about helping shape humanity or teaching lessons, it was just senseless torture. My father inflicted so much fear on humanity just to stroke his own ego.”

“Yeah, it seems like sick twisted games are Chuck’s specialty. And I thought my dad was bad.” Dean whistled jokingly. Cas gave a weak smile but lowered his head. He knew Dean was trying to cheer him up, but it was hard to make any light of this.

“Hey,” Dean approached him voice softening. “Cas, man. Look I know it sucks. He’s your dad. You want to idolize him, hell I relate to that more than anyone, but sometimes it doesn’t work out. You grow up and realize he wasn’t all you cracked him up to be. You just gotta go your own way.” He was on Sam’s bed now, sitting across from Cas, head lowered to peer at Cas’ face. Cas met his eyes.

“I’ve spent my whole life serving him. Everything I ever did I did without question. I just obeyed, never doubting his plan.”

“I get it man.” Dean gave him a knowing half smile. Cas stared back. Dean was probably the only one who did ‘get it’. He felt less alone knowing Dean had gone through the same and came out on top.

“Yes, I suppose you do.” He mused. Dean grinned.

“Besides you did question the plan. You rebelled.” He stated simply.

“Yes, but that wasn’t until I met you.” Dean’s face fell slightly and Cas could hear the slight increase in his heartbeat.

“You showed me a different way. Taught me that the individual matters, not just the big picture. If it weren’t for you I’d still be blindly obedient.” Cas confessed.

“Nah, man. C’mon you gotta give yourself some credit. You made your own choices. No one forced you to side with Sam and I, that was all you. You saw it all for yourself, it was just a matter of time till it happened, cause you’re better than all those ass monkeys, you _care_.” Cas smiled. Dean always said the right thing, even if he did so with little conviction or attempted to cheapen his sentiments with quips and one-liners.

“Thank you Dean.” Cas narrowed his eyes and gave Dean a rare smile.

“Course, that’s what friends are for.” Dean stood and clapped him on the shoulder. He turned to the duffel at the foot of his bed and pulled out a fresh flannel.

He had one arm through the shirt when Sam walked in.

“Just in time.” Dean grinned and turned to his little brother. Cas saw his eyes hungrily eye the bag. “What’d you get?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for not posting enough :(  
> Midterms have been crazy. Spring Break is next week though so I should be updating all of my works then.


	6. Realization is More Than Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk if this should be one or two chapters so I made it one :/

Sam decides to indulge his brother’s guilty pleasure of burgers and cheese fries. He’d prefer if Dean ate healthy, but now wasn’t a good time to lecture him about it. He stopped off at a local burger joint and ordered the usual. On his way back however, something happened to give him a slight warning. The police radio called in another animal attack. Another woman mid-thirties with red hair. An unsettling realization struck Sam. Enough to send a chill down his spine.

“Red hair” He murmured to himself. Was it possible these killings weren’t a coincidence? Then his thoughts shifted to the man on that morgue table. Mid thirties, 6 foot, bearing a striking resemblance to his brother. No, there was no way this was a coincidence. He had to talk to his brother.

Sam had barely gotten back to the room when Dean was practically on top of him trying to get food.

“Dean, wait a minute.” There were more important things than food. “There was a call on the police radio. They found another body.” Dean and Cas exchanged a look.

“Where?” Cas asked as he rose.

“Same MO, wooded area.”

“Should I grab my fed suit?” Dean asked gesturing to the bathroom where he’d left his suit hanging.

“No,” Sam scrolled through his phone looking at the transcript of the police channel. “It looks like the scene was already cleaned up. The body’s being examined by the coroner right now.”

Sam settled into a chair at the table and flipped open his laptop. Dean sat opposite him and Cas stood awkwardly between them because there were only two seats. Sam was trying to find a way to break the news to his brother without further distressing him.

“Okay, well can we eat then?” Dean asked, grabbing for the bag. Sam glared at Dean’s insensitivity. Dean shrugged and pulled out his chili fries, beaming at the sight of them.

Sam turned to his computer and pulled up the report.

“Listen though, I think there might be a connection” He turned the computer and angled it towards Dean and Cas.

“The newest victim was a red haired woman, aged around 30. Her body was found torn apart and her estimated time of death was 9pm last night.”

“So? She’s just some chick.” Dean mumbled around his cheese fries.

“So get this. The last victim.” Sam pulled up another report. “Also mid-thirties red hair.”

Dean shrugged. “Okay so red hair is trending? Fido has a type?”

“No Dean. Red hair, just like-”

“Rowena,” Cas finished for him leaning over the computer, eyes narrowed quizzically. Sam nodded. He shifted away slightly as Cas invaded his personal space. Cas didn’t seem to notice.

“This means two of the victims have been red-haired women.” Castiel stated.

“Seems like more than a coincidence to me.”

“But why would a hellhound be targeting someone who looks like Rowena?”

“No clue. I’m gonna try calling her again.” Sam stood to make the call but Dean pulled him back down with sticky fingers.

“After we eat. I’m not going anywhere until I’ve finished my fries.”

“Dean, people are dying.” Sam glowered.

“People die everyday.” Sam could hear the slight shift in Dean’s voice and knew Dean was on edge.

“This thing could be after Rowena” Or us. Sam didn’t say.

“Well, she seems to hunt at night.” Cas affirmed now scrolling through Sam’s computer comparing reports. “So we don’t have to worry about her striking again until it starts to get dark.”

“How do you know it’s a girl?” Dean piped up. Sam shot his brother a look. Why did it matter? He supposed Dean was trying to change the topic.

“The markings, clearly.” Cas stated as if it were obvious. “The width of teeth punctures and length of claw marks indicate clearly that this hound was a female.” He said casually as he eyed Dean’s food. Dean followed his gaze to the burger now in his hand.

“You wanna bite?” He said around a mouthful of food. Cas didn’t need a second invitation. He grabbed the burger from Dean’s hands and sank his teeth into it easily. He hummed in happiness.

Sam glanced at Dean and the two exchanged a concerned look. _Since when is Cas eating?_ Sam asked silently, with a furrowed brow and a slight head twitch towards the angel. _Beats me_. Dean responded with a shrug of the shoulders around his mouthful of burger.

Dean chewed slowly, indicating to Sam how concerned he was.

They watched as Cas devoured the burger in a matter of seconds. Dean’s face fell slightly as the last bite went into Cas’ mouth.

The angel finally paused and opened his eyes to be met with Sam and Dean’s worried looks.

He glanced down at the wrapper and realization of what he’d just done seemed to spread across his face. Sam felt a pang of sympathy for him.

“I’m-sorry.” He said vaguely, handing Dean the wrapper. Then without another word he was out the door.

“Cas,” Dean shouted, making to go after him. But Sam grabbed his brother by the arm and shook his head.

“Dean, let him go.” Dean’s concern was plastered across his face.

“What the hell just happened?” He asked. He sat back down reluctantly. Sam shrugged.

“Well, we’ve known his powers are fading for some time now. It was only a matter of time before hunger and thirst became an issue.” He reasoned.

“But it’s Cas. How could we-how could I not realize how bad it was?” Dean was standing now and pacing. “We have to help him get his juice back. Screw the Hellhound, Cas needs us.”

“Dean,” Sam said lightly.

“What Sam.”

“Be reasonable. This hellhound has to be dealt with. And we don’t even know how to help Cas, if we even can.” Dean ran a hand down his face.

“I should’ve listened, helped. You know how lost he is when he’s human.” Dean’s eyes flashed frantically at Sam. “I can’t let that happen again.”

“He’ll have us this time. To help him adjust.” Sam said softly.

“Don’t say that. Don’t talk about it like it’s gonna happen cause it’s not.”

“Dean,” but Dean was out the door, he supposed, to go look for Cas.

Sam didn't follow.

______________________________

Dean searched everywhere for Cas. He tried the lobby, circled the building, but Cas was nowhere.

It wasn’t until he was headed back to the room in defeat that he saw a flash of beige. He turned his head sharply, eyes landing on the Impala. Cas was sitting inside, legs crossed in the front passenger seat. Dean hesitated, then made his way down the steps to the car.

He tapped on the window lightly before opening the door. Cas didn’t meet his eyes.

“Hey Cas.” Dean was surprised at the lightness of his own voice. He saw Cas’ eyes shift upwards and watched as he shuffled his hands.

“You mind if I join you?” He asked leaning into the car, one hand on the roof bracing himself.

Cas shrugged and began picking at a loose thread in the leather. Dean slid into the car and shut the door behind him. He turned to Cas.

“You good man? What’s going on?” He was trying to pick his words carefully. He didn’t want to upset Cas.

“I’m fine Dean.” It wasn’t at all believable.

“Cas, it’s me. C’mon.” Cas continued to shuffle his hands. Dean reached out and lightly grabbed Cas’ wrist, stilling his movement. Cas glanced up at him. Dean couldn’t help but notice Cas’ skin was warmer than normal.

“Dean,” he broke off. Dean waited patiently for him to continue, after a few moments he did.

“I fear my powers are fading.” Dean blinked calmly, trying to have as little reaction as possible.

“Yeah, Sam and I kinda made that connection.” He confessed. Cas swallowed hard and studied Dean.

Dean realized his hand was still gripped around Cas’ wrist and tried to keep the same amount of pressure on it so as not to reveal his concern. He was glad Cas couldn’t hear his heart hammering in his chest.

“I’m afraid I may be losing my grace.” Cas glanced back down guiltily, as if it was his fault. “Which means this may be my last hunt, seeing as I won’t be of use much longer.”

Of use? “Cas, you’re always useful. Being human won’t change that.” The word human felt sour on his tongue. Cas chanced a glance back up and shrugged.

“I just remember last time, I wouldn’t want to get in your way.”

“Last time?” Dean echoed. His mind raced back to memories of human Cas. Repeatedly telling him to leave, saying he was a liability. Dean’s stomach fluttered nervously.

“Cas,” He didn’t meet Dean's eyes. “Hey, look at me.” He reached his free hand forwards and placed it on Cas’ shoulder.

“Cas, I need to apologize for that. It wasn’t fair. You were human an-and vulnerable and all alone and I shouldn't have made you leave.” He swallowed hard. “If I’d have known then what I know now, things would’ve been different, I was so busy protecting Sam I didn’t realize what I was doing to you.”

“It’s okay Dean, I understand.” He looked sympathetically into Dean’s eyes. “But I’ll still be a liability, even though Sam isn’t sick anymore, I’m still not good to have around.”

“Hey, dude don’t say that.” Dean gripped Cas’ shoulder tighter as if trying to squeeze some sense into him. “We would’ve made it work, trained you and shit. I mean you know, if it wasn’t for Gadreel.”

“Gadreel?” Cas’ gaze clouded over with confusion. Dean’s stomach dropped. Did Cas not know?

“Gadreel, when he was possessing Sam?” He hinted, searching Cas’ eyes for any recollection. There was that same blank stare.

“Yes but I don’t understand what that has to do with-”

“He made me ask you to leave.” Dean swallowed hard at the admission. Cas’ eyes widened and his brow furrowed.

“What, why?” Dean shrugged, feeling a sort of weight off his shoulders at finally admitting this to Cas. He couldn’t believe Cas had gone all this time not knowing Gadreel had coerced him into kicking Cas out.

“I dunno, he told me it was because heaven was after your ass, but now I guess it could’ve been because he was scared I’d tell you about Sam and you’d find out he wasn’t Ezekiel.”

“He made you, he threatened you with Sam?” Cas reflected.

“Yeah, man. You couldn’t possibly think I’d just kick you out in fear of a couple chump angels coming after us. It’s just cause Sam’s life was quite literally in Gadreel’s hands-”

“So you would’ve let me stay? Helped me? You will, let me stay?” Cas was speaking faster now eyes flicking between Dean’s rapidly.

Dean felt his heart break at the fear in his eyes, the implications behind the question. That if he wasn’t useful he’d be thrown aside. He supposed Cas had every right to feel this way, based on Dean’s past actions, but he hated it. Cas had to know he meant more to Dean than just a weapon.

“Of course Cas.” Cas looked as if he might cry. He leaned forwards and Dean felt a slight jerk. Then he was enveloped in a hug. Cas’ arms wrapped around him and his body relaxed against Dean’s. Dean hugged back as tightly as he could.

“Thank you.” Cas whispered into Dean’s ear in a gruff voice that sent chills down his spine. Dean hugged tighter.

He didn’t know how long they were like that. Perhaps seconds, maybe minutes even. All he knew was he didn’t want to let go. When Cas finally pulled away Dean’s arms felt sore. He smiled at Cas.

“C’mon, let’s go back inside.” He turned to open the door only to find a woman pushing a stroller, staring at them with a nasty look on her face. He blushed self consciously. They hadn’t done anything wrong. Just two friends hugging, why was she bothered?

Surprising though, was how little Dean found himself caring.


	7. Time is Ever Ticking

When they walked back into the room Sam’s eyes flew to meet them. Dean cleared his throat and straightened, returning to his usual constrained self.

He clapped Cas on the back “Glad we got that worked out.” He said as casually as possible. Then he turned to the table and started looking on Sam’s computer as his younger brother fussed over Cas. 

“Hey, Cas. Are you okay?”

“Yes Sam, I’m better now.”

“Okay, well is there anything we can do for you? Food? Clothes? What about sleep? We could rent another room?” Dean’s eyes shot up at that. 

He didn’t like the idea of Cas being in a separate room. Human Cas was vulnerable, and there was a hellhound on the loose.

“Another room? Why would we do that?” Sam turned to him crinkling his brow.

“Well, there’s only two beds.” Sam pointed out. “Where would he sleep?”

“Oh,” Dean blinked. He turned back to the computer silently, but couldn’t help the worry building in his chest at the thought of Cas being alone.

He was beyond grateful when the front desk informed them there were no rooms left. Sam and Cas however, exchanged a perturbed look. 

“What now?” Cas asked.

“Well, we could try another hotel?” Sam offered.

“What? No.” Dean quickly ended that idea. “No way. Cas can sleep in my bed.”

“Oh?” Sam quirked his head and gave a small knowing smile. Dean pursed his lips. What did Sam think he knew? 

“Yeah, I can take the chair.” He ignored the slight way Sam’s face fell, almost in disappointment. He shrugged and turned back to their room. Letting the other two follow behind. 

They decided that, in light of current events, Hound hunting would have to wait another day. Instead they settled in for the night. 

Sam finally reached Rowena and she said she’d meet with them tomorrow ‘for tea’ to discuss. 

As he was finishing up on the phone, Dean fussed over Cas. 

“Here,” Dean handed him a band tee and some sweatpants to sleep in.

“What’s this?” Cas asked. Taking the clothes, but holding them gingerly.

“To sleep in.” Cas eyed the clothes with a puzzled face before glancing down at his own outfit. “What, you weren’t planning on sleeping in that?” He gestured at Cas’ normal suit and tie. Cas shrugged.

“Thank you.” He pulled off his tie with ease. Dean watched captivated by the way Cas’ hands made such easy work of the knot. Cas slid off his coats and was halfway done unbuttoning his shirt when Dean registered what he was doing. 

“Woah Cas.” He grabbed Cas’ hand quickly, stopping him from furthering the process of undressing right in front of Sam and Dean. Cas turned to him puzzled. 

“What? Did I do something wrong?” 

“Uh, bathroom?” Dean gestured. 

“Oh,” Cas said vaguely. Dean handed him the clothes and he made his way into the bathroom to change. Sam laughed as soon as the door closed behind Cas. He clapped Dean on the shoulder,

“Good luck with him.”

“Shit man, you’d think by now dude would know social cues.” Dean shuddered trying to bury the image of Cas’ sternum peeking through the open buttons. He didn’t know why but it made his stomach feel queasy. 

Cas emerged moments later, fully changed. Dean shifted uncomfortably at the sight of him. There was something about seeing Cas in his clothes that struck him. Or maybe it was the way those pants seemed to hug certain bulges… 

Dean swallowed hard, averting his eyes and trying to steady his breathing. Dude what the fuck. He asked himself silently. It wasn’t the first time he’d had an involuntary reaction to Cas. He just wished he could stop it.

“Are you sure I can take the bed?” Cas asked. He was in front of Dean now, staring at him with those piercing blue eyes. 

“Huh? Uh, yeah go for it.” Dean gestured to the bed making sure to keep eye contact. That didn’t help much to ease his predicament. “I can sleep anywhere.” He patted the chair fondly. 

“Thank you Dean.” Cas’ voice was so grateful it hurt.

He watched as Cas settled into his bed. His eyes glanced at Sam, who was studying them amusedly. Dean coughed and shifted away from his brother. 

In a matter of minutes Cas and Sam were asleep. Dean tried his best to get comfortable, but nothing worked. 

This chair was entirely too small and rigid to sleep on. It was nothing like the plush leather seats of Baby. Instead, the fabric itched his skin whenever he tried to rest his face. 

After about an hour Dean gave up. It was no use anyway. He was too worried about Cas. Human Cas was powerless and at the mercy of fate. Dean didn’t know if he could protect him.

He sat up and turned to look at Cas. He was sleeping so peacefully, mouth slightly agape, hair mussed by his turning. One foot stuck out of the blanket and hung over the side of the bed. Dean smiled to himself. Cas looked adorable. 

He wondered how warm he was, if he liked to cuddle, was he a blanket hog? He caught himself quickly and turned away, blocking out those thoughts. 

He couldn’t indulge himself, it was too risky, a slippery slope. Undoubtedly, that would end in a screaming match cause he let himself care too much and needed some way to push Cas away before he inevitably left of his own accord.

Dean spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, trying to sleep to no avail. Every once in a while he’d sit up to check on Cas and Sammy. 

He smiled everytime he took in the sight of them. The two people he cared about most. Hell, the only two people still alive for him to care about, save for Jack. 

He felt a sense of pride and affection as he observed them, maybe he understood why Cas used to watch him in his sleep. 

The next morning came quickly. Dean watched as the light grew more prominent and said goodbye to any hope of sleep.

Sam woke up first. He stared at Dean groggily from across the room.

“Dean,” He watched as Sam took in the sight of him. “Did you sleep at all?”

“A bit.” Dean lied. Sam gave him a disbelieving bitch face which he ignored. Cas was waking up.

Dean stood quickly and approached the bed.

“Hey, buddy.” He was cautious, he didn’t know how Cas would act waking up. It was quite possible he would lash out and punch Dean out of instinct. Quite contrary, he stretched out and smiled warmly at Dean.

“Good morning Dean.” He yawned. Dean felt his heart flutter. It took everything in him not to reach out and stroke Cas’ hair.

“Did you sleep well?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Dean lied. “You?”

“Yes,” Cas purred, sitting up now. Dean ignored Sam’s gaze on the back of his neck as he watched Cas roll out his shoulders. 

He was reminded of the image of Cas he’d seen when Zachariah had sent him to the year 2014. Cas who was a hippie, human, and a stoner. Hopefully this Cas wouldn’t change to such an extreme. Dean would be there to keep drugs and orgies strictly out of the picture.

“What time is it?” Cas asked.

“8:30” Sam piped up. Cas turned his attention to the younger Winchester. 

“Good morning Sam.” Sam nodded his head in return.

Cas slowly emerged from the bed and headed into the bathroom. Dean sighed, relaxing his shoulders. Cas had slept, he was all recharged and, hopefully, ready for this hunt.

He yawned and plopped down on his bed. He just needed two seconds in an actual bed and he’d be set. 

Yeah, that plan didn’t work. 

The bed was still warm and Cas’ scent lingered, drawing Dean in. He pulled the blankets close and inhaled the soft scent of honey, vanilla, sage, and pine trees. 

Cas never really had a distinct smell. It was very faint, more of a feeling than any describable scent; kind of like rain or a fresh breeze. Dean always figured it had to do with being an angel, or maybe the fact he’d spent the past 11 years with the guy and he was just immune. These blankets proved him wrong. The balmy, earthy aroma filled his mind. His eyes fluttered and in a matter of seconds, he was asleep.  
________________________________

Cas brushed his teeth and dressed into his normal suit. He gazed in the mirror and took a deep breath. He’d never get used to sleeping. You woke up and everything was still fuzzy for a few moments, it was like there was a damper on your brain. 

He felt stronger now though. Last night he’d been so fragile, subject to every emotion and urge, hence the mysterious disappearance of Dean’s burger. 

Now he felt more in control. Perhaps sleep had helped him recharge. He tested his grace by turning on the water in the sink. 

He let one hand hover over the knob and channeled grace through his fingertips to turn it. It worked, well kind of. The handle turned slightly and water began trickling from the faucet. At least it was something.

He returned to the main hotel room. Once glanced revealed that Dean was passed out on his bed, face down. He felt a twinge of guilt for stealing Dean’s bed. 

“Hey Cas,” Sam waved. He was dressed already. “How are you feeling?” It was a simple question but there was a weight behind it.

“Better. It seems my grace has begun to restore itself.” 

“Really? Good, that’s good.” Sam looked him over. Cas nodded.

“I’m still at limited power, but my angelic functions should still stand.” 

“Do you think they’ll come back, like fully?” Cas narrowed his eyes. Sam’s heart rate had increased and Cas could sense the tension.

“I should regain my powers, at least until heaven fails. Then…” He didn’t finish, but he didn’t need to.


	8. Let's Talk Over Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorrysorrysorry for not posting :(( Corona (and being back in my parents house) has been not the best for mental health. I'm moving into a new place soon though so I will be posting more. *pinky promise*

Dean is woken up to Sam shaking him. 

"Dean, c’mon it’s 2 o’clock." 

“W-what?” He didn’t even remember falling asleep.

“Yeah, c’mon. We’re gonna meet with Rowena, so unless you wanna sleep through that too.” 

“No, no I’m up.” Dean rubbed his eyes trying to force the sleepiness out of them.

“Where’s Cas.” 

“He went to load up the car.”

“Alone?” Dean looked up at Sam concerned.

“Yes, Dean. He’s not helpless you know.” Dean shrugged and slid out of bed. He pulled off his shirt and dawned a new one.

“Turn,” he instructed. Sam sighed, but turned.

“Why can’t you just change in the bathroom.” 

“Too much work.” Dean slipped out of his pajamas and grabbed his jeans. 

“You made Cas change in the bathroom, you should have to.” 

“That’s different. Cas is, well, that would just be weird.” 

“Okay, sure.” Sam sighed. 

“Done,” Sam turned back to him. 

“Okay, let’s go.” 

“Woah, woah. Are you sure it’s a good idea for Cas to come with us? Without his powers he’s kinda… delicate.” 

“He’ll be fine Dean. Besides he said his powers were starting to come back already.”

“What!” Dean stared at his brother. How was that not the first thing out of his mouth? “How?” Sam shrugged. 

“Dunno, didn’t press him on it. I didn’t want to seem hopeful in case they fade again.” 

“Shit, where is he?” Dean pushed through the doors, vaguely remembering to grab his jacket on the way out.

He was met with Cas loading the trunk. 

Dean cut straight to the point “Your powers are back?” 

Cas sighed turning to him. “Not fully, but I seem to be recovering my grace, at least to its normal capacity.”

“So, what does that mean?” 

“Well so long as I don’t exert myself I should be back to normal by the end of the day.” 

“I just don’t get what drained you. It’s not like you’ve been using your powers.” Cas glanced down guiltily. 

“Right. Must’ve been something residual from the past few days. It’s possible I exerted myself helping Jack, my grace was simply holding out as long as it could before crashing, like adrenaline” Dean narrowed his eyes. Cas’ voice was flat and snide and he wasn’t making eye contact, that meant deception.

“So you’ve just been running on empty this whole time?” Dean wasn’t sure he believed that. Cas nodded. Dean was about to press further when Sam joined them. 

“We ready?”

“Yes,” Cas responded quickly. He slunk away into the backseat leaving Dean to face Sam’s questioning look alone. 

“Dean,” Sam gave Dean a patronizing look.

“What Sam?”

“He’s just getting his powers back, give him a break.”

“I don’t think he’s being 100% truthful. I mean what drained his power? There’s something he’s not telling us.”

“So? What does it matter?”

“He’s keeping things from us for starts, and when has that ever ended well? Besides I’m not too fond of him coming with us if he’s not at full strength.”

“Dean-”

“You know I can hear you both.” Cas’s voice sounded from the Impala. “Powers or not, cars don’t block much sound.”

Dean swallowed guiltily. Without another word Sam and Dean joined Cas in the Impala and they pulled out of the parking lot.  
_____________________________________________  
They arrived at the meeting point, a secluded cafe called a 'tea bazaar'. 

They pushed through the doors and were met with a room full of people dressed in odd clothing, several of whom had cats.

"What do you think? Hippies or witches?" Dean whispered to Sam. 

"Witches obviously, I can sense their magic." 

"Huh, I wonder if Sam could sense if they were hippies." Dean joked, but Cas wasn't paying attention, his eyes had fallen on the redhead across the room. 

"I'm not a hippie," Sam huffed as they made their way towards her table.

"No? You like salad and nature."

"Those aren't even hippie things!" Sam glared. "Cas is more of a hippie, he likes bees."

"True," Dean pondered. "and he was a stoner that one time..." He muttered thinking back to the parallel universe Zachariah had sent him too. "And the orgies."

"What?" Sam started with an incredulous look on his face, but they had reached Rowena.

“Hello boys.” Rowena greeted them. “Oh, and Castiel, handsome as ever. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Hello Rowena.”

The three men seated themselves at the table.

“We need to talk.” Dean started.

"Ah yes. But first." She waved over a waiter. "Three more cups, and a pot of the nettle." The waiter nodded and walked off. 

Out of nowhere a steaming pot and three cups appeared. Dean jumped. Rowena calmly lifted the pot and poured the tea. "I'm ever so fond of this place. I used to come quite often when I was alive."

"It's lovely," Cas offered gruffly.

She beamed at him. Then she turned back to the brothers. "So what is so important?"

“Rowena, are you, by any chance, missing a hellhound?” Sam asked gently. 

“Ugh,” Rowena rolled her eyes. “Don’t even get me started.”

“So that’s a yes then.” Dean remarked. Rowena glared. 

“Sadly yes. The poor pup seems to have tak’n flight. She’s noere to be found.”

“Aren’t you the queen?” Dean asked vexingly “Can’t you just, I don’t know, call her back?”

“I only wish it were that simple. The hounds hardly listen to me. I’m afraid my lowly son might have poisoned ‘em against me. No matter, I’m much more ove a cat person anywho.” Rowena drawled. 

“Well, we found her for you.” Cas stated. “She’s here, and she’s claimed several victims already.”

“Oh brilliant! I knew I could count on you boys.” Rowena gave them a glowing smile.

“Yeah, well we need your help.” Dean glared.

“Of course. That’s always ‘how this goes is it not?” She twitched her brow pointedly.

“That’s not all. There may be a pattern.” Sam began cautiously. “We think, based on her past victims, you may be a target. Three of the victims were red haired women in their mid-thirties.”

“Oh, Samuel. Mid-thirties? You’re so flattering.” Dean rolled his eyes. “At any matter, if this hound is after me then I’ll make for perfect bait.” She narrowed her eyes seductively at Sam.

Dean sighed and leaned forward across the table, bringing Rowena’s focus back to him. “So does that mean you’ll help us?”

“I always do.” Rowena smiled smugly. “I don’t know how you boys ever managed without me.”

She took a sip of her tea.


End file.
